Aggressive Body Language

Our bodies have this amazing way of saying everything we feel without actually saying anything at all.

The way our cheeks blush the moment our crush steps into a room. The way our fingers fidget when we’re nervous. The way we pop out of our tree stands when we want to shoot an animal.  There are thousands of emotions our body can express that words and language just can’t describe. The way your girlfriend looks at you when you get home late, and didn’t call her. You know by her protruding eyeballs and pointy, V-shaped eyebrows- you’re in trouble.

This is the type of body language I will address in this post. Aggressive body language. Getting angry is a normal human reaction when we feel like we’ve been treated unfairly, when someone hurts us. Someone might be angry with us, then we get angry at ourselves, then project our guilt and get mad at them back. (Did that only make sense to me?)

You also have to consider that just because someone is giving off aggressive body language doesn’t mean that they’re necessarily angry with you. They may have other things on their mind, they may have just come out of a perturbing situation which made them feel frustrated and out of control.
As someone who rarely gets into fights with people, I think knowing how to read someone’s aggressive body language, may be the key to diffusing a fight before it escalates out of proportion.

Aggressive Signals

Here are some signs of aggressive body language to look out for so you can take control of a heated situation before it gets out of hand.

Squinting/Twitching Eyes

If you want to read someone, 9/10 times the eyes say it all. If the person’s eyes are getting red, teary, squinty, and twitchy, they are pent up and about to blow.

Redness of the Face

A plum red face also means you have a time bomb just waiting to detonate.

Waving Hands & Pointing

Exaggerated gestures including shaking, waving hands, pointing fingers, pounding fists are more obvious exclamations of aggressive body language.

Spreading the Body

Big movements where the person is spreading their arms, flailing around the place and trying to make themselves look bigger is like an animal defense tactic. Fear not, remain calm.

Forward Head Butts

You will see this kind of aggression taking place just before a brawl is about to break out.

What to do:

Look them in the eye. With gentle eyes. Eyebrows relaxed. Eyeballs looking into theirs. Not making any eye contact will put a barrier between the two of you. It is likely to make them angrier and definitely gives them more opportunity to fire up. When you look someone in the eye, it communicates honesty and genuine concern. People are more willing to negotiate when you are trying to level with them eyeball to eyeball.

Before the person loses it and begins throwing furniture at you, take a few steps back. They have entered phase 2 of aggression and things could go several ways. If you can get them to calm down without actually saying things like “Relax” or “Clam Down” (which unfortunately tend to have the complete opposite effect), it’s best to let them blow off a bit of steam for a bit. Just hear them out, without interrupting. Your remaining clam is usually enough to calm the situation.